BE ATTRACTED OF BEING A SECOND WIFE: RIGHT KNOWN MISTAKES

Abstract

As a result of the disintegration of traditional life and the rapid spread of modern life in Turkey, the libertarian understanding that stands out on an individualist/individual basis has meanings that require reconsidering the attitudes, behaviors, relationships and interactions of daily life. It is essential to try new and different meaning quests by associating the meaning codes of traditional life with the life practices envisaged by the modern world and to turn them into a lifestyle, but it also includes significant risks. For example, in societies that are between the traditional lifestyle that sees it as legitimate for a man to be married to more than one woman at the same time, and the modern life that sees equality between the sexes and therefore monogamy, and that can neither decide on only one nor give up the other, significant problems may arise. Young girls who want to reach the comfort of modern life and at the same time want to stay away from the relations of the traditional lifestyle, sometimes prefer marriage to the second wife, which is a form of traditional life. Generally, the girls, who cannot find anything to hold on to other than the promises and promises made by married men, positively reflect the polygamous marriage under the guidance of men by highlighting some aspects that they are more advantageous than the first spouses when they marry as co-wives. The fact that the first wives are thrown aside by their husbands in the marriages of second wife, and that men tend to spend all their attention and economic resources on the new spouse (second wife), affect the outwardly happy picture of the women who have married to the second wife. These attractive appearances of marriage in sand, which are mostly short-term and hide important problems, cause question marks in young girls who make marriage plans under the pressure of the social environment, and marriage to second wife can become a marriage alternative they envision. So much so that some evaluations can even be made in the society, such as "it is better to go to the sand as the first wife of a married man and be a favorite of the husband than to go to the second wife and be thrown aside". This study examines the effects of the outward-looking face of the advantageous marriages on the young girls who are trying to get married, as well as the general reasons for the marriage of women and the effective factors in this type of marriage. The practice of second wife, which is directly related to the low level of education and the scarcity of economic resources, and indirectly to the social and cultural structure, is discussed and evaluated in the light of the results obtained from the field studies on the subject and the findings obtained from the literature.